Comments on "Roots and Wings" from a variety of sources:
My short take is "parents should provide their children with a firm foundation and the freedom to soar."
Roots (identity and confidence in knowing who we are and where we come from) and Wings (the skills necessary to navigate and create positive change in this global world).
To raise them in a way that they feel they have a strong sense of self and of belonging and at the same time instilling in them through unconditional love, trust and respect the confidence to truly spread their wings and fly.
For me roots are about having a sense of what home means. Home not as in the bricks and mortar necessarily although this does help, but home as the unconditional love and support that home gives. It is the understanding of family and of values. A shelter from the storm, a place inside that is always safe.
By roots, I'm also implying an understanding of oneself.
To give our children wings means to truly give them the freedom to fly the nest. To trust and love them completely. To give them our blessings to choose the path they will walk. To give them wings without conditions.
Because I have given them wings with which to fly I know that those wings will fly back home too when they need to reconnect.
Roots of this depth allow for experimenting with different kinds of behavior and, eventually, for the development of autonomy.
It's easy to want to err on the side of protection and keeping children close to home. Yet it harms the child's development and most importantly, their learning autonomy.
Henry Ward Beecher was a 19th century congregationalist clergyman at the Plymouth Church in Brooklyn New York who focused on Christ's love. He
was an abolitionist leader and supported social reforms such as women's suffrage and temperance. He championed Darwins theory of evolution. He influenced mainstream Christianity to this day.
His sister, Harriet Beecher Stowe, achieved worldwide fame with her abolitionist novel "Uncle Tom's Cabin"".
I was reminded of his quote from a plaque on "Thanks for giving us Roots and Wings" across the street from my house where I go to sit in the shade of a large valley oak, listen to the birds, watch the ground squirrels and a occasional coyote and meditate. It was dedicated to Art and Trudi Black apparently by their children.
