This page is for single people beyond child bearing age who are exploring relationships with the opposite sex or a long term partner. They may or may not have been married before and may or may not be looking for a marriage at this time. Some of the issues are:
I hope to add to it over the next several months.
Comments welcome to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Many of the articles cited below are not restricted to the the target group mentioned above.
Men and Women Can't Be "Just Friends": Scientific American, 2012 says,
Younger Women Offer You a Special Energy.
"Relational Maintenance in Cross-Sex Friendships Characterized by Different Types of Romantic Intent: An Exploratory Study" is a scientific study. After completing the relational maintenance section of a questionnaire, respondents checked the box that best described their cross-sex friendship. The options were as follows: (a) neither of us wants to escalate our friendship to a romantic relationship; (b) both of us want to escalate our friendship to a romantic relationship; (c) I would like to escalate our friendship to a romantic relationship, but my friend probably does not; and (d) my friend would like to escalate our friendship to a romantic relationship, but I would not.
The sex with friends section at "15 Types Of Sex You Have In Your 20s" | HuffingtonPost.com could also apply to people in their 50's. They say,
"At some point, you'll likely reach a point with a previously platonic friend in which you both agree that it's a great idea to sleep together. This is commonly referred to as friends with benefits. In most cases, it won't be. (Unless you're those uber-lucky, meant-for-each-other, "When Harry Met Sally" types.) If the sex is great, you'll either become gray area "friends with benefits," or just laugh about it a lot for years to come. If the sex is bad, you'll probably never ever speak of it again."
More Americans over 50 live together, but don't marry | Fox News they say, "The number of unmarried adults over 50 living together jumped from 1.2 million in 2000 to 2.75 million in 2010"
In 1992 the Presbyterian Church USA Special Committee to Study Human Sexuality published a 200-page report "Keeping Body and Soul Together: Sexuality, Spirituality, and Social Justice", which proposed relaxed views of pre-marital sex as long as there was something they called "Justice-Love". It was eventually voted down.
[Being married to an older man] means he has experienced enough illness and tragedy to know the importance of living each day to the fullest. By sharing his knowledge, you add a new dimension to your own life; You begin ty cherish your own friends a little bit more, you begin to reorganize your priorities, putting people and love before things and achievements, Materialism takes a backseat to life."
For older women, dating may be preferable to remarriage. Dating has been described by older women as having "someone to go out with" rather than "someone to come home to".
See The Desire to Date and Remarry Among Older Widows and Widowers - Journal of Marriage and Family 66 (November 2004), Rutgers
OurTime.com is a fast growing online dating site for people 50+.
30% of 50-65 year olds are single. Women ages 65 and older outnumber men by roughly 1.5 to 1Books:
- Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships, 1992, by John Gray
- The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire, 1997, 2004 by David Deida
- Body and Soul: Rethinking Sexuality as Justice-Love, 2008
- Age Different Relationships: Finding Happiness with an Older or Younger Love: Jack Mumey, Cynthia Tinsley
Sex After 60-New Rules for Dating for the Next Third of Your Life, Susan Kiner